As I'm sure many of you will agree, this lockdown is a very difficult time for everyone. It has opened our eyes to all of the things we hate about ourselves as well as our own homes, because we have nothing to do but find faults and 'improve' EVERY part of our lives, even if there is nothing to be improved. We also find ourselves longing to be doing things that we never thought we would, such as; going to work, or even school and college, all in order for us to regain a tiny bit of normality to keep our sanity under control. I for one, long for a simple trip to the shops, where I can take my time to browse for items without feeling the need to justify the 'essentialness' of the contents of my shopping trolley'. What I am trying to say is that during this lockdown, I have learnt to appreciate the things that I once took for granted. I have realized that I finally understand what people mean by the saying 'you don't understand what you have until it's gone'. I have decided that I should no longer think about the 'what if's' and instead, I should be pushing myself to take more risks and live a little. Corona took away my freedom and if this were to happen again, where we are all trapped within our homes, I want to be satisfied with the life that I have lived, having absolutely no regrets and feeling accomplished. This all leads to the point that I made at the beginning, 'I am no longer afraid to die'. I promise you that I am not suicidal, this isn't about depression, I have just come to terms with the idea of death and I have decided that I shall not fear it, as it comes to all of us eventually anyway. When my time comes I shall embrace it, but until then, I shall focus on living.
Now the word 'living' has two meanings; 'an income sufficient to live on or the means of earning it' and 'the pursuit of a lifestyle of the specified type'. In my lifetime, I aspire to bind the two meanings together. As a 17 year old, I am very lucky to know where I want my life to lead. I am in love with the idea of becoming a forensic scientist due to my love of science, helping to find evidence to bring people justice and making the world a better place. Not only do I have dreams for my future career, but I also fantasize about happiness. My main goal in my life is to be happy, as well as helping those around me to seek happiness too. I believe that if you are content and have no regrets from your life, then you have achieved 'living'. At this point of contentment, nothing will phase you, you have achieved everything you've ever desired and you no longer have to focus on living. You just live.
